Becoming Me
✍️ From My Personal Journal
This one… didn’t arrive all at once.
It came in pieces. In fragments. In moments I didn’t even realize were shaping me.
I remember sitting with the color first. That deep, rich purple. Not chosen… felt. It wrapped around me like something familiar—like a part of me that had always been there, waiting patiently to be seen. There’s something about that tone… it doesn’t shout. It holds. It carries weight, memory, quiet strength.
As I began to move the brush, the form started to emerge—not perfectly, not cleanly… but honestly. Curves that didn’t follow rules. Lines that bent, twisted, circled back on themselves. It felt like watching a life unfold… not in straight paths, but in spirals. In detours. In returns.
There were moments I paused—looking at what I had painted—and I could feel it… not just mine. Something shared. Something lived by so many, even if never spoken aloud.
The gold found its way in next. Not as decoration… but as something earned. It traced the edges, highlighted the movement, almost like it was honoring the journey rather than defining it. I didn’t want perfection. I wanted truth. The kind that carries marks, layers, stories beneath the surface.
And then… the flow.
That’s when it shifted.
What began as form started to feel like release. Like shedding. Like stepping out of something old without fully knowing what comes next—but trusting it anyway. There’s a quiet courage in that space. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just… steady.
I never set out to paint a horse.
I set out to paint a feeling.
Something about becoming… without needing permission. Without needing to explain how long it took or what it cost to get there.
When I look at it now, I don’t see a single moment.
I see all of them layered together.
The parts that were easy.
The parts that weren’t.
The parts no one ever saw.
And somehow… they all belong.
This isn’t about arrival.
It’s about recognition.
Of who you’ve been…
and who you finally allow yourself to be.
That’s Becoming Me
A STORY BORN FROM SONIA’S GRATEFUL HEART AND ORIGINAL PAINTING—AS TOLD BY SAM®
Original painting photography by Studio Graetz